In our culture, rest is hard.
I find myself being proud of the fact that I’m exhausted, because at least I’ve accomplished things. It’s so easy for me to buy into the lie that by being busy, I’ve proven my worth.
When I lived in Peru, I was forced to wait on everything and everyone. Life was slower, less of an emergency and more of a slow and steady marathon. And do you know that there were days when I hated the slowness? I hated the feeling of not being in control of the timeline. Having to trust in God’s timing was much more literal when I wasn’t guaranteed my preferred outcome in any given situation. And by any given situation I mean a trip to the grocery store or trying to mail a package. My prayers were different whenever I wasn’t guaranteed that my paperwork would go through at the immigration office or if I would wait for 2 hours or 2 months for the documents that I needed.
Maybe that’s why as soon as I got back into the United States I made a to do list that took up every waking hour of my day. Every check off the to do list was a small victory after dealing with so many days of trying to send packages in another country. Or pay bills. Or get a cell phone.
So this past year I went to grad school and took two extra classes a semester because I COULD DO IT! And I also finished the manuscript for my first book. And then co-hosted The Lily and The Sparrow’s first missions gala. And led our church’s youth group with my husband. And then decided to go ahead and have another baby because we are in the states right now and so is my mom.
I’m the queen of an overbooked schedule. I’m the world’s worst about saying yes to everything, so believe me when I say I speak from experience. And that’s the thing. Often times, we can’t say no to a busy schedule, but we can say no to rest. We even take pride in being tired when it means that we’ve accomplished things. But what better thing can we accomplish than learning real soul rest in the presence of the Soul-Creator?
When is the last time you’ve sat quietly before Jesus and just waited? In silence. In stillness. With patience.
I’ll be the first to tell you that it is hard for me to sit and wait. I want to schedule in Jesus just like I schedule in time to write or wash dishes or buy groceries. Like He’s just another item on my list. But what if I told my husband that I had to schedule him in from 5:00-5:15pm because I was busy doing more important things? I would never do that! So why are we so quick to do that to the Lover of our souls, the Creator of our hearts? Why are we so quick to exchange relationship with routine?
True rest is only found in the presence of God. And when we make time to get into His presence, He teaches us the rhythm of grace. Grace to let our souls rest. Grace to take a step back from burnout. Grace to let ourselves be loved without an agenda.
Matthew 11:28-30 in the Message version says ““Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
I, for one, never want to replace relationship with with routine. I want to rest well and be well rested in the arms of my heart’s Creator. It’s time, dear one, that we discover the unforced rhythms of grace.
Your identity isn’t found in the amount of things you can squeeze into your to do list or how many accomplishments you can achieve. Your true identity can only be found in Christ. Take some time today to be still and rest. Do something that allows your heart to still and your mind to stop racing. Make time to get away with God and be revived.
With messy hair and wild grace,
Ellyn
