I love this feeling.

It’s home. It’s sinking into his arms and knowing that I belong there. It’s knowing that no matter what, he is here for me. It’s the confidence that comes from being his and only his. It’s hearing him call me beautiful when I’ve been cleaning all day and the baby is fussy and I’m still in my PJs. It’s making pancakes together at midnight and figuring out what to put on them when you’re all out of syrup. It’s buying your first bed together and suddenly having to understand the difference between pillow top and normal mattresses. It’s crying on the floor when I really miss home, knees curled up to my chest, and it’s the way he doesn’t have to say a word because the look his eyes brings me out of the sadness that threatens to overwhelm me. It’s learning how to budget and pay off credit card bills and make a savings account. It’s fighting and yelling and apologizing and growing together. It’s passionate and beautiful and loving so deep that you can’t see the end. It’s knowing someone, strengths and flaws. It’s laughing until your sides ache and sharing memories that only the two of you own.

It’s marriage.

Being married is my favoriteeeeeeee. It’s absolutely the most awesome thing that I have ever experienced. Marriage is something to look forward to, something to love, something to cherish, something to be proud of.

It’s finding that one person that you choose to do forever with. The choice is what matters, not the feeling. Because you will choose them over and over again. You will choose them because they are and because they aren’t.

It’s learning that you don’t have to do what anyone else does. You can write your own story, make your own path, create your own legacy.

Here’s something really important that I have learned along the way:

Drum roll please…….

There is no secret formula. Do it your own way, what’s right for you! Every couple is different and it’s OK!

It doesn’t have to be college + degree + job + saving money + house + car and then marriage. It could be that way, if that works for you. Or it could be backwards. You could save up 10,000 dollars first or you could get married with 5 dollars in the bank. You could have a great job or a regular job or no job at all. There is no secret formula. Do what works for you. Chris and I got married while we were still in college, lived with my daddy, graduated, moved to Peru, and then lived in a church for a month. All before we ever got our first apartment! There were plenty of times that we counted coins to buy pizza or became vegetarians for a few weeks to save money (true story). The point is, it’s been so much fun just figuring it out together and making these memories. Enjoy it. Embrace it. There probably won’t ever be another time when you only have one table and one mattress and two coffee cups to your name or when you have to figure out how to cook rice and peas when you only have one pot.

We have learned to love the moment. These are wonderful memories that we are making and these are the stories that we will tell years from now and look back on! We have figured it all out along the way, and it has been so much fun! There are so very many reasons why marriage is the absolute best thing ever, and here are just a few of my favorites:

Marriage is the best because you live with your very best friend. It’s like a permanent slumber party. Want to make cookies at midnight? yes please! Want to watch a netflix marathon in bed all day on Saturday? Together! Want to play a card game? YAY! You always have a friend, and it always rocks!

Marriage is the best because you fight. You argue. You see the very worst of yourself and you figure it out. You find a way to get over it, to get through it, to work it out. Together. You learn problem solving skills that you never even knew existed. You learn humility and love like never before. And you grow. You become so much better than you ever thought you could be. Because of each other.

Marriage is the best because you laugh. You realize that life really is hilarious. You lock yourselves out of your car and your house and you crash at a friend’s or in a hotel and you laugh. You laugh because you start to realize that your spouse is hilarious and you make up secret inside jokes together. You laugh because you burn all the food and you have to learn to cook together and it’s so much fun to smear batter on faces and have flour fights. You laugh because you are tired and it’s 2 am and you are delirious.

Marriage is the best because in-laws. You see into a completely different family that is probably nothing like your own. You learn new things about your spouse and their heart and the reason why they do the things that they do. You complain sometimes. You think it’s cool sometimes. You gain a whole new perspective and learn to love in a whole new way. You learn what it really means to join two families together and you learn to grow together, to be one family.

Marriage is the best because it is yours. You are building a life with your true love. You are living a real life fairy tale. You are adventuring. You are learning. You are figuring out how to be grown-ups together. You are creating a place together. Own it. Be great at it!

Too many times in today’s world, marriage gets a bad rap. Divorce is normal, adultery is normal, marriage is cheapened and misrepresented. In the Christian world, marriage often gets idolized or seen as a chore or something that you have to do because you are a Christian and you can’t get divorced. Before I got married, the kind of advice that I heard was NOT about how wonderful marriage was or how fun it was. It was all about how hard it was, how bad it was, how I needed to go ahead and live a little bit before I got married, (what does that even mean) and about how marriage changes things for the worst! None of these things are good. And ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. Marriage is THE BEST! It is so much fun and so beautiful. Yea, there are difficult times in marriage and there are struggles, but the struggles do not define it. The way you handle them does. The way you come out of them does. What you do with the struggles and the difficult times is what defines your marriage. Marriage is meant to represent God’s love for us. Christ and the church. God wants us to ROCK at marriage. We need to start rocking. I want to have the kind of marriage that people can look to as an example. And I want you to have that kind of marriage too. I am praying over marriages, over the earth, over the hearts of the people. I am praying over the Church. Over the sons and daughters of God. I am praying over marriages that have yet to happen and marriages that have lasted for years and years. I am praying that we represent God well, that we show the world that marriage is beautiful. That is is real. That it is worth it. Because, dear one, it is. 

Got has been speaking to me a lot lately about “Growing in the season.” It’s all about living fully alive in the current season of life that you are in and growing in that season. It’s about not wishing you were in a different season and about being the best that you can be, right where you are. So many times, we don’t enjoy the present. When we are single, we say we wish we were married. When we are married, we say we miss being single. And so many times, we wish the season of life away before we ever enjoy it and we miss the beauty that God has placed in that season. Every season is unique and special. God created the 4 seasons of the year with purpose, each with it’s own unique beauty, and each with a specific time to come and go. Seasons of life are like that. Every season with it’s own uniqueness, it’s own beauty, it’s own struggles, it’s own growth. Live fully alive right where you are, and embrace your season.

Keep checking in on the blog because in the next few weeks I am also going to be writing “Why being single is the best” and “Why being a mommy is the best.” 

Have a wonderful week!

Ellyn